Crushed Diamonds
by pretty in orange
Summary: When Mashiro is brutally assaulted, both physically and sexually, Kensei deals with the fallout. Very dark AU, eventual Kenshiro. M for mature themes and language.
1. After

A/N: This is an extremely dark AU that deals with severe issues. I don't suggest it to anyone who doesn't like angst or the cold slap of reality. Or anyone under 18 for that matter... On another note, a big thank you to The Rish, who encouraged this story despite it being so dark.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or make any profit from this.

* * *

Mashiro huddled in the bathroom of her best friend's apartment, her key clutched in her hand like a dagger. The bruises on her throat were just beginning to show, and her black eye was well into showing. Her shirt was torn open, and the button had been forced off of her jeans.

_His hands pulling at my clothing..._ Mashiro shuddered, her hands quaking. _He smelled like motor oil. Like cars. Like a repair shop._

She pulled her knees up to her chest and tried to imagine the pain away, the pain of her black eye, the pain from her throat, but most of all the pain from the spot between her legs. Burying her face in her hands, she tried to cry quietly.

* * *

Kensei stepped inside, immediately seeing the shoe prints on the floor, leading to the bathroom. He wasn't exactly a neat freak, but that was irritating.

"Mashiro!" He snapped. All he got in response was a sob from the bathroom. Panic flooded the anger, killing it instantly. He ran to the bathroom without another thought of yelling at her.

There Mashiro sat, in the tub, with an inch of water. Her arms looked as if she had raked her nails across them. She had a darkening black eye and clearly visible handprint bruises on her throat. Her shirt had been torn from the neck down to the hem, and he could see the remnants of her panties where the button had broken off her jeans and the zipper had been broken irreparably.

Kensei growled, and Mashiro scrambled to press herself against the far side of the tub, terrified. Kensei took a deep breath and tried to think clearly through the red haze that was clouding his vision. It wasn't directed at Mashiro at all, no, it was directed at the bastard that did this to her. Kensei tried hard not to think about what had been done to her, not right now.

"Mashiro." He said as evenly as he could manage. "Come here."

Mashiro stood slowly, flinching, and stepped out of the tub. Water slopped off her soaked sneakers and clothes, but Kensei couldn't have cared less about the bathroom, not at this point.

"I'll get you some of my clothes and then we're going to the hospital." Kensei left the room for just a moment, only to hear Mashiro sob and run after him.

"Don't leave me..." Mashiro whispered, biting her bottom lip. "I can't be alone right now... I can't do this..."

It took a good twenty minutes, but Kensei was able to convince Mashiro to get dressed into some of his clothes and an old pair of sneakers and get her into the car. Kensei couldn't begin to imagine how she felt, both physically and mentally, but he knew he couldn't focus on that right this second.

Mashiro sobbed uncontrollably all the way to the hospital.

* * *

After a round of tests, a rape kit, and something called Plan B pills, the doctors had confirmed that she hadn't been given any STDs, that she would not get pregnant, and that a condom had been used in the rape. The police had been in to talk to Mashiro for any idea of the person who had done this, but Mashiro was still too rattled to be of much help.

Kensei wanted to strangle that son of a bitch that had done this with his bare hands. But right now, Mashiro was more important.

"Do you want to go home?" Kensei asked, pulling the metal and plastic chair towards Mashiro's bed. He really doubted Mashiro wanted to go to her apartment, where she lived alone.

Mashiro looked at him. "I don't want to be alone..." Her voice sounded small in the hospital room, like the whitewashed walls were stealing her ability to speak.

"You want to stay with me then?" Kensei asked, his voice gruff but his heart aching. In truth, that was what the doctors had wanted, someone who could keep an eye on her. Rape victims were unpredictable, in more ways than one. Kensei had no right to say she needed to be on suicide watch, but the doctors had said that she really shouldn't be left alone for long, if at all.

Mashiro studied his eyes for a moment, and then gave him a miniscule nod. "Please..." Her bottom lip quivered as she said it.

Kensei retrieved his clothes that she had been wearing from the far side of the room, on top of the dresser, and handed them to her. "I'll let you change." He started for the door, but Mashiro jumped up and hugged him from behind.

"I'm scared..." She whimpered. Her whole body was quivering against Kensei's back. "What if he comes back?"

_Then I'll kill him with my bare hands._ Kensei thought to himself, but somehow he didn't think that would make Mashiro feel any better. "I'm not going to leave you alone." Was what he opted for instead. "So don't even think that he can hurt you again, got it?"

Strangely, Mashiro's shudders almost stopped, and she rested her head against his back. Warmth seeped through the papery gown and Kensei almost would've smiled at the contact, almost. Maybe if he could forget why they were where they were.

Heart still aching, Kensei thought about how Mashiro had been before this. She had shined like a diamond, but crushed diamonds could still shine right?

* * *

A/N: This will be multi-chaptered; I honestly just felt the need to tie in the title now. I know it's dark, but what do you think?


	2. Going Home

A/N: Second chapter! This story is so emotionally taxing to write, I feel horrible for putting Mashiro- and Kensei – through this. But I knew I had to write it the second the topic sentence was written on my idea legal pad. Anyway, let's get started.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach; I don't make any profit from this.

* * *

Kensei got her to his apartment safely, though he wasn't quite sure what to do with her. She could sleep in his bed, but he couldn't leave her alone, and with the situation, sleeping in the same bed as her seemed out of the question.

As they approached the door to the elevator, Mashiro suddenly dug in her heels. Her breaths were erratic, and her eyes were pulled wide with fear.

"Damn it..." Kensei muttered. The doctors had warned him that it wouldn't be unusual for her to have a panic attack – or multiple ones – but he had at least hoped to get her to the safety of his apartment before that happened.

Kensei scrabbled for the information they had given. She needed to feel safe, but if the attacks persisted she would have to be brought back in so they could find a medication to quell the panic attacks.

Silent, eyes narrowed in worry, Kensei pulled her into a hug. It was the only thing he could even begin to think of to do to stop it.

* * *

Mashiro's vision swam and suddenly everyone who passed by looked dangerous, terrifying, and evil. Her hands fisted around Kensei's shirt as she tried to calm herself. The edges of her vision were going dim, but finally her erratic breaths calmed and dissolved into soft sobs.

"Hey..." Kensei's voice crashed over her, causing her to pause and look up at him. Silent now, he just shook his head and held her closer.

Mashiro closed her eyes slowly, resting her right ear against his chest. Kensei's heartbeat told her she was not alone, that she was safe for the moment. "Kensei..." She whispered, hiding against him. His presence said one word to her, over and over, _safe, safe, safe._ It was something she thought she could never feel again, especially not so soon.

Fear quickly set in again, ripping away Mashiro's sense of security. Memories flashed in her mind, making her whimper.

_Rough hands pinning me down..._ Mashiro started to cry again, though the panic attack had subsided. _The plink as the button of my jeans popped off and rolled away... pain..._

Kensei cupped Mashiro's face, forcing her to look at him. "Mashiro. I'm here." His tone sounded just the least bit annoyed, but his face didn't portray that at all.

Mashiro's bottom lip quivered, shivers wracking her small form. "Yeah..." She managed softly.

"We'll go up to my apartment." Kensei said evenly, eyeing the elevator. Slipping his hand around Mashiro's, he tried giving her a gentle tug to get her into the elevator, but she wasn't moving.

"Can we take the stairs...?" Mashiro asked softly, not meeting his eyes. As of the moment, she wasn't fond at all of small spaces, not after she had been assaulted in an alley.

Kensei seemed to catch on at this point, easing her towards the stairs. He was silent, but he never let go of her hand as he led her up four flights of stairs.

Mashiro flinched every time she lifted a foot to take a step, but she still preferred the stairs to the tiny elevator.

Kensei unlocked the door, letting Mashiro go inside without any further pulling of her hand or shoving her inside. Mashiro noted that the water she had tracked around the apartment had evaporated off of the carpet. The bathroom was probably another story.

Kensei shut the door behind himself and locked it. After a slight pause, he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Mashiro shook her head miserably and sunk onto the couch. "I never want to talk about it again..." She murmured, hugging a couch pillow to her chest and wiping her tears away. _I want to forget it ever happened... _She added silently. _I want to go back in time and take the other way home. I don't want to hurt so much where I shouldn't. I don't want to have to fear being alone..._

Tremors seized her body and she folded in on herself. Kensei sat beside her, not touching her, but staying close. On an odd note, he remembered something the ER doctor had told Mashiro that had seemed to calm her at the time.

"Hey, Mashiro." Kensei tipped her head towards him, using only two fingers to move her. He didn't want to hurt her any further than that son of a bitch had. "You're not a victim, you're a survivor."

Mashiro blinked at him, then pressed herself against his side. "Yeah..." She mumbled, closing her eyes. She tried to manage a smile, but it was a mangled expression.

Kensei could only hope that one day he'd get his Mashiro back.

* * *

A/N: Geez Louise, this is hard to write. Any comments?


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